"Whatever you do, don't crash the bloody thing," he said. The Cairns Post motoring editor Nick Dalton was nervous as I cast my eye over the dashboard and adjusted the steering wheel.

This was a $73,000 C-Class Mercedes Benz, and he was more than a little concerned about the final line in last week’s column.

“I was going to test drive an incredibly expensive and dangerously fast car without any intention of buying it, and I was going to drive it like a bat out of hell,” it read.

As much as I wanted to do, I couldn’t drive it like a bat out of hell or a presenter from my favourite TV show Top Gear, not least because it was a $73,000 luxury cruiser borrowed from car dealership Ireland Mercedes Benz.

Still, I was ready for a taste of a car capable of speeds and comforts I’ve only ever seen inside show rooms of car yards as I drove past in my Magna, which is old, used and cost slightly more than our new washing machine.

So, after three days of life as a bachelor, this was the last hurrah of freedom before the Gatekeeper returned.

After a few deep breaths and a silent prayer to the motoring gods to keep hoons and old people in old cars at bay, I put the foot down.

It purred like a frisky panther and the heads of my fellow motorists turned to glance upon the Merc’s metallic silver majesty. This doesn’t happen in my trusty Magna, I thought; for obvious reasons.

“So, where are we headed?” I asked Dalton, “I need some winding, open roads so I can, ahh, drive responsibly within the speed limits.”

His answer came as something of a surprise.

“Head towards Yarrabah,’’ he replied.

Right, I said to myself. Where else do you drive a fantastically expensive slice of extravagance, chosen as the 2007 Wheels Car of the Year? Besides, I’m sure the car yard has a comprehensive insurance policy.

So, to the car … We were in the C200 Kompressor, with all the extra bells and whistles including the $3500 Elegance and $4500 Vision packages. I’m not sure what bells and whistles are featured in those packages, but they’re probably important.

I do know it came equipped with Agility Control and Electronic Stability Program, presumably handy in case you need to race around bends at top speeds to escape a rioting mob. We were heading to Yarrabah after all.

In terms of the engine, I’m a responsible driver so I didn’t get to experience the grunt of the supercharger or the 210k/m top speed.

According to Dalton, compared with its rival models the C200K presents better value than a Lexus, a better driving experience than BMW and a better interior environment than Audi.

I haven't driven any of those other luxury cars, so I'll have to take his word for it.

But I can say it was a smooth, sensational machine to drive, especially around the surprisingly tidy and quiet streets of downtown Yarrabah.

As we headed back towards Cairns, I tried to take in all the panache and nifty nuance of a car so stylish it could turn a driver like Jim Turnour into James Bond. Well, that’s taking things a bit far, but you get the point.

We arrived back in Cairns where I farewelled Dalton, who had two more days to test and evaluate the Merc.

I had about two hours until the Gatekeeper returned to test and evaluate my ability to cope as a bachelor and keep the house in working order.

I can’t tell you what she said when she saw the state of the house, but I can say it was probably similar to the sentiments one feels when driving a second hand Magna compared with a new Mercedes.

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