A LITTLE-known nugget of trivia about our esteemed mayor-elect Val Schier is that she has been nominated for a place in the Guiness Book of Records.
I nominated her for the new category of "fastest stuff-ups by a politician".
In blisteringly quick and unilateral fashion, Ms Schier stumbled her way through a haphazard week of gaffes, blunders and bloopers.
This week she was hostile towards the future existence of Advance Cairns and the future employment of acting chief executive Noel Briggs.
She also managed to get up the nose of various council departments and workers by criticising their performance.
Then she demanded an immediate makeover of her mayoral office with a duck egg blue paint job to be completed this weekend.
And after a story in The Cairns Post, she had to perform a skilful little backflip on her pre-election pledge not to raise rates.
She was forced to explain that her very clear statement "Cairns 1st won’t raise rates" was made in haste.
Oops. I hope she doesn’t experience any more moments of haste over the next four years because if she can’t get a press release right during a lame and tame election campaign, God help her when things really heat up.
But these slip-ups pale in comparison with her most glaring faux pas in the days immediately after her win.
In an interview with The Australian newspaper, Ms Schier told a nation of investors: "No longer is Cairns a developer’s city."
At a time when the Far North is on the cusp of an economic slowdown, when big players like Tom Hedley are selling assets and tourism is struggling, this message from our new mayor was an absolute clanger.
Tree huggers and nimbyists may have been pleased with her decree.
I can only assume they all have some secret plan and miracle solution to house the thousands of people flooding to the Far North every year.
In these environmentally enlightened times, our pockets of rainforest will never be bulldozed to make way for a unit block, but Val’s crowd still bang on about "sustainable development" and "innovative tropical style".
What on earth does that mean? Unit blocks of mini-Queenslanders on stilts? Energy efficient light bulbs? No aircon?
The reason high-density unit blocks are popular with developers and buyers is simple: they’re cheaper to build than any other option, making them cheaper to buy and cheaper to rent.
But Ms Schier has sent a dire warning to anyone with future plans of building and developing such unit blocks in the Far North.
In terms of her personal style and presence, I still can’t shake the image of Ms Schier as everyone’s favourite great-aunt.
She’s a bit dotty, a bit wishy-washy. Just like a caring, doting great-aunt she wants the best for everyone, but can’t really do anything to make sure it is so.
While the sky won’t fall in with Ms Schier as mayor, storm clouds will likely gather, given the disparate and inexperienced bunch of councillors, or "dills" as a Cairns businessmen repeatedly called them this week.
While my nomination for "fastest stuff-ups by a politician" is still being processed, I’ll have to cancel an earlier entry.
I had nominated her under the category of "worst hairstyle ever", but Ms Schier visited a salon on Tuesday for a new ’do.
It was about the only thing she did right during an unfortunate first week.
