There's no half measures, says Deborah Storer -you either have passion or you don't.

Are you living the life you really want?

Oscar Wilde said: "Life is too important to be taken seriously."

Why is it that some of us take life too seriously?

The answer goes all the way back to when you were a wee girl or boy.

When we were children, most of us had so much fun: climbing trees, splashing paint on a canvas, running in the rain, burying ourselves in the sand at the beach and dancing freely without a care in the world.

We expressed ourselves freely. We had dreams. We believed we could fly, we believed we could be an astronaut, a ballerina or a racing car driver – we believed we could be whatever we wanted to be when we grew up.

What happened?

As we grew up, we listened to the people around us and we believed them because we thought they knew best. As a result, we started to make decisions based on other people’s opinions. Why?

We lost belief in ourselves – believing that we were not good enough, smart enough or talented enough. We thought our dreams and ideas were too hard, too silly, too selfish or only achieved by other people. We believed it was impossible.

One lady expressed to me the other week that when she was a girl, it was her dream to be in the circus. However she gave up her dream because her mother said to her that she may break a leg or get hung up with the "wrong" people.

Another lady expressed to me her desire as a young girl to be an artist, however everyone laughed and ridiculed her talents, so she gave it up.

Another lady expressed her dream of also becoming an artist, yet was told that she couldn’t make a living from it so she ended up being a secretary. One man in his 50s said to me he was told as a boy that he had to get a well-paid job if he was to make it in the world, so he gave up his dream to be a travel writer.

So as we grow up as an adult, we end up reaching a point saying:

• I don’t know what makes me happy anymore.
• Who am I?
• Why have I lost my enthusiasm for life?
• Why do I lack confidence?

The answer: We suppressed our dreams, forgot them or never had the opportunity to realise them. We believed it was impossible to get what we really wanted.

As a result, this is what we end up doing:

• We take on a safe job that pays well or at least pays the bills – but we don’t really enjoy it.
• We knock back new opportunities and experiences because we don’t know how to deal with the unexpected – it’s too risky. We’d rather stay with what is familiar because it is safer.
• We worry what others think of us, so we end up creating a life that is not right for us – pretending to be someone we are not or doing a job that is not in alignment with who we are.
• We stop expressing our needs and desires and start saying yes to people all the time because we don’t want to upset anyone – we would rather keep the peace and play it safe.

You have a choice:

1. You can do nothing. You can continue playing it safely, going through the motions and not really enjoying what you do. You can go on believing life doesn’t get any better – that it’s a struggle, hard work and that you can never get ahead.
2. You can do something about it. You can step up and take charge of your life. You can go after what you really REALLY want. You can rediscover your passions, dreams and greatest desires, believe in yourself and go after it. As a result, you will live an extraordinary life filled with laughter, love, purpose and joy: a life you absolutely love to wake up to on a Monday morning.

If you choose number one, you may as well stop reading. If you choose number two and are willing to implement the following steps and do whatever it takes to get what you want, then be prepared to live an extraordinary life!

How?

Donald Trump says in his most recent book: Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and in Life, that if we are to be successful in life, we must, and he emphasises MUST, do something we love to do. Trump said: "Don’t choose something because it pays well; choose something you love, then the money will follow". The key is passion.

Passion will get you out of bed in the morning even when you are tired. Passion will pull you through the hardest of challenges including difficult people. Passion will drive you, motivate you and charge you up for the rest of your life.

Passion will stop you listening to the critics; will have you believing in yourself even if no one else will; it will have you on fire with enthusiasm where nothing – absolutely nothing – can stop you.

Don’t give up your passion and you will achieve it!

• Deborah Storer is a motivational speaker, coach and author, get more of her here.

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