THE search is on for bogans so I went to the city`s biggest boxing event to find them.

Toothless deadheads with mullets are being urged to put their oil-stained hands up for a role in a new show from the makers of SBS comedy series Pizza.

So there was no better place to source that kind of talent than at the Cairns PCYC, where girls from a strip joint served booze to rabid fans cheering on boxers engaged in displays of raw power.

I'm a big fan of the art and culture of boxing, from the majesty of Muhammad Ali through to the grit and tenacity of old school trainers berating their young fighers in dingy gyms.

With a thirst for blood, I headed to the Young Guns Pro-Am event last Saturday to soak up the spectacle of some of our best young bruisers duking it out.

Promoter and trainer Ross Cardillo isn't a bogan. I'm not just saying that because he's bigger than me or because he manages a stable full of boxers who are also bigger than me, and tougher, stronger, faster and meaner.

Ross organised the fight night to promote the regions up and coming pugilists and to provide the city's bogans with a safe haven away from sophisticated bars and civil conversation.

That was a joke, Ross. The crowd was awesome and boxing events like this deserve more credit and support.

"I think people like watching that primal instinct of survival, the fight or flight response, the only difference being that in the ring there's nowhere to run," he said.

"Boxing is the gentlemanly art of self defence, it's more like chess."

I agreed with him, but realised that kind of talk had absolutely nothing to do with bogans.

So in my quest to help the TV producers find some A-grade dorks, I turned to the one place I was guaranteed to find them - the Liberal National Party.

Yes, I was wasting my time scouting for talent at the bloody boxing.

Take, for example, this week's incident dubbed "Fettagate" involving the LNP's Ray Stevens and another MP, who were chased down Grafton St by a waiter after they took off without paying their share of a drinks bill.

The following night Mr Stevens and colleague Ray Hopper were seen arguing outside an Esplanade restaurant over a disputed bill.

Only bogans act this way in public. Were they stunned into a stupor by the bright lights of a big city like Cairns?

Don't get me wrong - the Bligh Government deserves all the criticism being heaped on it at the moment.

They've been in power a long time and are stale and stumbling, particularly in the southeast of the state where debacles over roads and water have some pundits predicting the ALP will lose the election next year.

Most of the time the four Labor MPs in the Far North are feckless dunces who have failed to stand up for local issues in parliament. But at least they aren't bogans.

Which brings me back to the LNP.

To be fair, I haven't met any of the new LNP candidates in the Far North and I don't know many people who have.

But I've had lunch and talked with various Opposition MPs, including leader Lawrence Springborg.

They are all affable and capable. I'm certain they could all run a farm better than most people.

I'm just not sure we want them running the state.

In fact, this bunch of bogans would be better off as actors on the small screen, where we can laugh with them, instead of at them.

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