WITH only a few days left until Amateurs Carnival, the countdown is on and that means little time left to get organised. We're here to help.

Here's our essential breakdown of how to look great and have fun during the racing festivities while avoiding any embarrassing social faux pas.

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MONDAY
Draw straws with friends about who will be the designated driver.

Or book with Down Under Tours, which is charging $8 one-way from the city and $15 from the northern beaches to the races.

Make an entrance and fly from Cannon Park to the Esplanade via helicopter for $99. Place bets on who will embarrass themselves in front of a co-worker or ex-partner.

TUESDAY
Procrastinators, call the Amateurs office to renew or buy a membership or tickets for special events.

Brush up on your horse racing lingo, so you can actually pretend you are attending the races to see the horses, rather than drinking yourself senseless and ogling girls or guys.

WEDNESDAY
Call around every hairstylist in Cairns in a panic to find a cancelled appointment for race days. No luck? Buy a big hat.

Men, select a suitably dark pair of sunnies so you can stare at all the pretty women without looking like a stalker. Remember your manners.

Track down the addresses of the Fashions of the Field judges and stake out their homes or hotel, in an attempt to get a “feel” for what they consider award-winning fashion sense.

THURSDAY
The Amateurs Carnival begins. Step back to a time of sophistication at the Ladies High Tea during the day or schmooze at the members-only President’s Welcome Cocktail Party at night.

Leave the Bob Katter Akubra at home. Plan the best places to party after the races.

FRIDAY
Day one of racing. Men, groom your facial hair. Save the Ewok‑look for camping. Women, stop freaking out. You look good.

Check the weather forecast and bring sunblock. Nothing ruins a civilised day of racing like a stint at the emergency department for sunstroke.

Make informed decisions about which horses will win instead of losing money by betting on the names of horses you like most.

SATURDAY
Get into the party mood on the second day of racing. Play a mixed CD full of classics or create a special play list.

For the guys, we recommend doing the Tom Cruise Risky Business dance in your living room. Don’t forget to put your pants back on.

Ladies, pack a spare pair of flat shoes for the end of the night. Check your feet after going to the loo to ensure a toilet paper isn’t trailing behind.

SUNDAY
Recover.

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